Radioactive
by Mtrench is life
Summary: Ian is captured, and a soul is placed into his body. But Ian is a fighter, and he will not let the soul banish him.
1. Chapter 1

**hey guys! i recently read The Host and loved it. so i thought i would write a fic about it**

**disclaimer: The Host does not belong to me I take no credit for it's plot line or characters. That belongs to Stephenie Meyer.**

* * *

**Chapter One**

My eyes fluttered, but would not open. I knew what had to happen first. They had told me before the operation what was to come, and I was prepared.

Or so I thought.

Color unfolded behind my closed lids, the sound of guns firing roaring in my ears. The last memory of this body.

_Sweat trickled down my brow but I didn't have time to wipe it away. Raising my gun, I unloaded a new wave of bullets into the oncoming Seekers. They just didn't know when to quit._

_Beside me, his teeth bared in a snarl, my brother Kyle aggressively reloads his gun. "Goddamn parasites. I hate each and every one of them," he growls, watching with grim satisfaction as another body falls to the dry desert ground. "Well, except for your Wanda of course."  
_

Wanda. The name sparked something inside me, and I shivered. This body must have had a bond of sorts with this girl. I slid back into the memory.

_Two shapes run towards us, one visibly shorter than the other. Melanie and her kid brother, Jamie. I grab Melanie's arm, pulling her aside as I fire another bullet deep into the chest of one of the pursing Seekers. Her eyes are wide under the weak light the moon provides us. She's scared._

_"Where's Wanda?" I demand, lowering the barrel of my gun. _

_Melanie nods into the darkness behind Kyle. "With Jared. They're bringing the Jeep around. Jeb's already gone ahead."_

_I nod, returning to the warfare for a few more seconds. Jamie is shivering, and I can see Melanie tuck him into her arms from the corner of my eye. She loves the kid fiercely. I suppose she needs to in a world like this. We don't have much, and when you have someone, you're always wondering when you're gonna lose them._

_In the distance, there is the sound of tires approaching fast. Jared. I smile to myself, knowing we only have a few more moments of combat before help arrives. The others are safe in the caves. Our home will not be lost._

_Crack. There's a sharp cry of pain, and Jamie falls to the ground, nursing his arm gingerly. Melanie howls, dropping beside him. Blood stains the sand. "Kyle!" I roar, tossing him my gun. His wrist snaps up to catch it, but his head doesn't turn._

_I kneel beside Melanie and her brother. The bullet isn't deep. We could get it out if-_

_The Jeep rolls up beside us. Jared swings out, scooping Jamie into his arms without a question. Melanie hurtles into the back seat after him. I can see Wanda in the front seat, and she is shaking with fear. They came looking for her, after all. She thinks it's her fault._

_I nod to her. She motions to get out of the car, but I shake my head no. She doesn't need to be seen._

_"Ian, c'mon. We gotta go," Jared shoves me towards the car. Kyle is already running, his shoulders squared and his head low. The Seekers have noticed our get away vehicle and are swarming towards us. _

_One of them breaks away from the pack, speeding towards us. In it's hand it grips a knife, it's eyes locked on the tires of the Jeep. I know it's plan. Popping the tires would make us stranded._

_Realizing what has to be done, I run towards the Seeker, my brow furrowed._

_"No, Ian!" Kyle screams, pausing with his hand on the door. He turns, maybe meaning to come back for me, but Jared is on him. Shoving him in and away. _

_His conflicted amber eyes meet mine, and I nod. He knows the sacrifice I am making. _

_The Seeker is nearly on top of me, but I feel no fear. "Do not move!" It instructs me, holding the knife out towards me in what it thinks must be a threatening matter. If I wanted to, I could disarm him in two seconds. That is not what I want to do._

_I lower my hands, standing still. The Seeker pack stills, whispering among themselves. Why is this one giving itself up, they wonder. The humans never surrender so peacefully._

_Closing my eyes, I step towards them. A Seeker grabs my wrist, tugging me towards him. A beam of light is shone in both my eyes, confirming my human status. He purses his lips. "Why do you give up so easily?" It asks, watching as the Jeep peels away into the desert with a look of regret. One gained. Five lost._

_"Because that's my family out there. And I need to protect them."_


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter Two**

I woke with a start, the memory starting to fade. A man stood in front of me, his blue eyes narrowed in concern. "Hello, Running Water," he said smoothly, waiting for me to adjust to my surroundings. The room was bright, and nearly all white aside from the splash of color that the single green plant alone in the corner provided. The plant was wilted, and I wondered when it had last had water.

The Healer spoke again. "My name is Fords Deep Waters, and I am your Healer." Fords Deep Waters offered me a smile. I hesitantly smiled back. This body felt foreign to me. I had been a bear before this host, and nearly everything was unfamiliar to me.

"I see you have your movements under control. Tell me, how do you find the host body?" Healer Fords ran his thumb along his chin, examining me.

"Pleasant. It is...suitable." I am not used to human speech. It is much more rougher than my natural dialect, but smoother than the Bear's.

He nods. "You seem to be adjusting fairly well. How were the memories?"

I shivered, closing my eyes. "Awful, Healer." I remembered the gunfire and the look of pain on the kid's face as he fell into the desert sand. Violence was an awful thing, but the humans seemed to embrace it. Practice it. Indeed, it was a good thing us souls had taken over.

"As they usually are. Yet is a good thing that you have accessed them. It will make your duty easier."

I hesitated, my tongue heavy in my mouth. My duty. Right. The reason I had been requested to travel to Earth. Nevertheless, I sat up straight, listening. All of the souls were eager to help perfect the societies. It was in our nature.

Healer Fords Deep Waters sat on the edge of my bed, his eyes narrowed. "We are searching for another soul, Running Water. This soul goes by the name of Wanderer. She went missing about two years ago, and now we cannot find her. We believe she is with a rebellious clan of humans, hiding somewhere in the south. In fact, the host you inhabit came from that clan."

Wanderer. Could it be...?

_No. No, don't you dare._

I froze, listening. Had I been imaging it? Healer Fords noticed my look of confusion, and tilted his head. "What is it, Running Water?"

I shook my head. "For a moment-" I paused, the words dying on my tongue. How could I explain to him I had heard the voice of a man inside my head? He would think I was unfit for my job. That perhaps I was defective. So I held my words.

The Healer looked displeased. "If something is wrong, I would like to know. Your host- he is not fighting back, is he? He put up an impressive fight in the end. It would not be unlikely if he still remained. After all, it's happened before."

I froze, unsure. Something in me screamed for me to tell him. But something else...something else said no. That I should keep quiet.

Smiling, I shook my head. "It's nothing, Healer. I'm just adjusting to the body. Everything is in working order."

Looking reassured, Healer Fords nodded. "All right. Here, let me help you up. I'll walk you to your staying quarters. I assume you're quite tired." He motioned for me to stand, and I did, solid on my new feet.

We made our way out of the surgery room, walking down a carpeted hall. We passed several other souls, all who wished me good luck and bid me welcome to the planet. As we walked, the Healer chattered on, pointing out certain objects or giving me information on things as we passed them. I liked the creatures they called cats. I would inquire about getting one as soon as I settled.

_Filthy parasites._

There. In the back of my mind, merely more than a whisper was the voice I had heard earlier. I scowled, rubbing at my temples. **_What do you want? What are you doing in my head?_ **I demanded, hurrying to keep pace with the Healer.

_I could ask you the same thing. After all, you're the one who crawled into MY head. _

I sighed. _**You know as well as I do that we souls are only here to perfect-**_

_You mean to destroy humanity, yeah, I know. _The voice belonged to the boy who had sacrificed himself to the Seekers in the last memory. Ian. So he was still there.

He scoffed, and I imagined he would look rather irritated if he could have a facial expression. _Of course I'm still here you tool. This is MY body. I'm not letting you win. You think you can control me like some sort of puppet? Well, think again._

I gritted my teeth, frustrated. Maybe I should tell the Healer that Ian was still present. Clearly they needed a stronger soul to dominate this body. _NO. No, don't you dare, parasite! Don't you tell him I'm in here. Do you know what would happen?_

**_Yes,_**I paused, thinking about Ian's question. _**They would remove me from you and stick a stronger soul in my place. Perhaps a Seeker. **_

_That is exactly what I DON'T need to happen. Keep your mouth shut. I won't cause you trouble if you keep quiet._

I snorted. Yeah, because that was likely. _**It is my decision if I keep quiet or not. Now go.** _I slammed a wall down, blocking him out. He retreated into the corners of my mind, his speech stopping. I wonder how he felt. Kept prisoner in his own body.

It must be awful.

* * *

Healer Fords Deep Waters stopped outside a small rectangular building, holding a door open for me. "Your living space is located behind the third door on the right. If you need anything, your neighbor, Seeker Strong will kindly assist you."

I nodded, thanking him for leading me here. Then he was gone, and I was alone. Well, alone except for Ian. He was quiet, mulling through his memories. Opening my living complex door, I followed him.

This dream was of the boy who looked like him. Kyle. His brother. They were only kids, and they were playing together under the shade of a large tree. Kyle, the bigger of the two even back then, tackled his brother to the ground, laughing wildly. Ian shrieked, batting at his brother with pudgy hands, his eyes squinted in laughter. For a second, my heart hurt for the boy in the back of my head, but then it vanished.

No, I would not feel sorry for the host. It was not my fault he had been captured. He would just have to deal with me.


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter Three**

Ian did not fade with time as the Healers had promised me he would. Instead, he remained a constant reminder in the back of my head, plaguing me with his memories and emotions. His voice screamed in the back of my head, but no matter what he did he could not control his own body. I imagined how he must have felt, and I felt sympathy for him.

It had been many months since Ian had been captured, and as each day passed he got more and more sullen. Eventually, I could not stand his negativity anymore.

"Ian?" I asked, waiting for his voice.

_Yes, parasite?_

_"_Why do you hate me so much? And why do you brood all the time? You should focus your energy on letting yourself fade."

_Fade? Fade? Are you out of your mind? I will not goddam fade! YOU should fade! This is my body, not yours! _

I winced, wishing I could turn down the loudness of his voice. "Apologies, Ian. I know that it is not fair to you to be trapped in your own body but I cannot help it. I do not wish to leave this planet, and we both know what would happen if I requested another vessel."

They would remove me, but they only had two options for Ian. They could either put a Seeker inside him, who would surely erase him or subjugate him into silence, or they would kill him.

Neither of those options flew well with him.

_Yeah, I know what they would do, but lately I've been starting to think death might not be such a bad idea. _

I felt a jolt in my stomach. "Oh, no. Do not think like that! I won't make a ruckus as long as you are fine with me occupying your body."

_I'm not fine with it, _he snapped, but we both knew that he would rather be alive than dead. He tried so hard to come across as tough sometimes. It was amusing to me. I knew he could not harm me.

He had started thinking of his home again, and I willingly let him replay the images. I never knew much about his home, but I knew that it was in long winding passages. Caves, maybe?

A thick wall slammed down around his memory.

"Ian," I tried, sighing. "Come on. You know as well as myself that I would never turn you and Wanda over to the Seekers."

_Don't you speak her name. Don't you dare, _he growled, and this time he actually sounded fierce. I recoiled a little. What was he so protective over the soul for? She was not one of his kind. It did not make sense to me.

Ian growled again. _I'm protecting her because I love her, you idiot. If you were to find out about her...about where she was... _he trailed off into silence. _They would kill her, Running Water. _

I raised my eyebrows. **_You have never addressed me by my name before_**

_Didn't see the need to, _he shot back. _  
_

"Ian, why are you so worried about her? If she had been found, we would have heard."

He wasn't convinced. _I need to get back to her. She's gotta be so scared. So alone. _I felt a rush of his pain in my chest. Humans had such peculiar emotions. After being a bear and a flower, I was not used to dealing with the broad range of emotions that my new host came with.

"I wish I could let you see her again, but I have duties here, Ian."

Ian scoffed. He didn't find me job as a Creator as fun and fulfilling as I did. I loved spending my days using the colorful paints to express my thoughts and the images I remembered. Long green fields filled with colorful flowers, bright sunlight dappling their leaves. Ice cities that danced in the greens and purples the Lights From The Skies provided up in the North.

I loved the painting and the sketching, especially when I made my trips downtown to the Galleries where all our work was showcased for all the other souls to view and enjoy. It made me happy to do something like this with my new body.

But Ian...Ian loved Wanderer.

And, as time went on and on, I had began to care for the soul I did not know too. Sometimes, when he was sleeping, Ian let his walls down. I could see her clearly in his dreams. Her host was very beautiful, with her silvery skin and golden flowing hair. Her personality was also beautiful. I could see why Ian had loved her.

I dropped into my chair, rooting through the piles of papers on my desk. From here, I could look out over the city. I could see the gardens and the pond in the distance. It was a nice view, but I had grown tired of painting it.

Picking up my pencil, I began to trace along the paper. Small, soft lips. A wisp of bangs that drifted across her forehead. Ian was present in my head, but he was silent. Brooding again, I suspected.

_What are you...NO. NO, RUNNING WATER. _Ian's sudden reappearance thundered in my skull, causing me to drop my pencil. Gasping, I grabbed at the sides of my head, trying to stop the pain.

Ian was frantic, shouting at me and scrambling in his tiny corner. _THROW THAT OUT. THROW IT OUT NOW. DO YOU KNOW WHAT WILL HAPPEN IF THEY SEE THAT? DO YOU?_

"Calm down! I am simply sketching her face, Ian. What is the harm of that?"

_The harm is if your little Seeker friend gets a hold of that, she will use it. Posters will be printed. Displayed everywhere. Anyone who seen her would be a witness. She would be caught, and so would everyone else in the colony._

Placing my pencil back in its package, I picked up the sketch. It was good, and it killed me to crumple it. Tossing it in the trash, I confronted Ian. **_There, are you happy? _**

_Not really._

Sighing, I closed my eyes. "What do you want? What can I do that will make you satisfied?"

Before he could answer, there was a sharp knock on the door, and a small woman marched in. She had long brown hair and sharp grey eyes. "Running Water?"

I nodded, standing hastily. She offered me a hand, which I shook. "Greetings. I am Seeker Strong. I live across the hall from you," she pointed over her shoulder to where she had marched in the door.

"It is pleasant to meet you," I offered her a smile, nervously kneading my hands together. _Stop that, _Ian scolded, but his voice was merely a whisper. As if the Seeker could somehow here him. _You look guilty when you do that._

She smiled back. "I hope I did not disrupt you in anything?"

I shook my head. "No, Seeker. I was just about to go for a walk and enjoy this fine day," I gestured to the window, where the sun was shining in brightly.

"Ah, it is a fine day. Perhaps we could go for walk together?"

The request set off a warning bell in my head. Ian was restless, but silent. Listening. "I don't see why not."

She gave me a tight lipped smile. "Excellent," she paced back, exiting the door. "I shall wait out here."

Walking towards the door, I picked up my shoes, slipping them onto my feet. _**Ian,** _I started, feeling panicked, _**this does not seem like a wise idea.**_

_Just do it, _he advised in a whisper. _It'll look strange if you back out now. Besides, you might get something off her. _

I shrugged, exiting my apartment. I closed the door behind me, walking next to the Seeker. My heart hammered behind my rib cage, and I tried to calm it. I needed to stay calm. Collected.

We made our way out of the living complex, past a group of teenage hosts, all of them laughing as they tossed a ball back and forth between themselves. The Seeker watched them with a disinterested expression. I trailed after her, shoving my hands in my pockets. My worry was growing stronger the further we went.

She paused at the corner of the street. "Running Water, I might as well just get to the point."

_Here we go, _Ian wheezed, attempting to sound sarcastic but failing miserably.

"Go ahead," I said calmly, facing her.

"I do not mean to come across as brash, but we have a bit of a concern with you...and your host."

I raised an eyebrow. "Me?"

"It is has been months since we have received information from you. We are beginning to wonder if maybe that boy is still inside your head. If maybe he's convincing you to not say anything that will give away his family and friends."

She had hit the target spot on. For a second, I considered spilling, letting her know everything I knew. But I couldn't do that. I had made my promise to Ian, and I felt a strange sense of loyalty to the voice in the back of my head.

"No, Seeker. Ia- the boy, is long gone. I have not heard a murmur from him since my insertion. I just...I am not used to this mind. Finding the memories is still a little difficult."

She nodded, then smiled. "Of course, Running Water. That is understandable. Thank you for your honesty."

"Any time, Seeker."

She gestured over her shoulder. "Join me for a walk?"

I shook my head gently. "No, I best be getting back. I'm a bit peckish. I think I'll go make myself a sandwich."

"Very good,"

She walked away, leaving me with my racing heart. _**Well? How did that go? Do you think she was convinced?**_

_I don't know. I don't trust her. I think...I think we should keep it on the low._

As we walked back to the apartment, I couldn't agree with him more. There was something shady about the Seeker, and I didn't want to find out what it was. All I could hope was that she believed my lies, no matter how weak they were. I didn't want harm to come to Ian.

I also didn't want harm to come to his Wanda.


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter Four **

_We have to go find Wanda._

Ian insisted for the millionth time, his voice getting louder each time he repeated the phrase. It was getting hard to concentrate on my artwork with his constant babbling. I seriously debated slamming down the concrete wall I barely used anymore just to get some peace and quiet.

"You know as well as I do that I cannot leave here, Ian."

_Oh, come on, Running Water. What purpose do you have here, huh? You draw a few pictures and paint a few things. That's not a huge contribution to soul society. _

I scoffed, stroking my paint brush over the canvas a little harder than necessary. "What do you know about contribution to society? You're nothing but a voice in the back of my head. Now stop bothering me."

He simmered, lashing out at me with vivid memories. A particularly vivid one flooded my eyes, choking my senses. My wrist slashed clumsily, running a bright blue streak through the middle of my painting.

"Oh, look what you've made me do!" I hissed, dropping my brush. Dismay filled me as I looked at my ruined piece. I had spent hours painting the forest scene, and now it was ruined. All because of Ian and his carelessness.

Ian was relenting. Realizing that the memory had numbed me, he lashed out with it again. I fell head-long into it, suddenly sucked out of my apartment and into my body's memories.

* * *

_The air is stuffy, and the open door doesn't help much. Wanda stands in front of me, holding my hands in her smaller ones. I smile down at her, and she smiles back. _

_"I love you, Ian," she whispers, as if someone might hear her._

_Ian's heart beats a little faster at her words, happiness surging in him. "I love you more, Wanda."_

_She burrows her head into my chest, arms wrapping around my hips. I lean into her, face pressed into her golden hair. God, she's beautiful. I - or rather, Ian, - remember holding her in my hand, all silver and delicate, floating around my fingers. Everything about her is beautiful._

_Wanda lets out a whimper, as if afraid of something. I hook my fingers under her chin, lifting her face up. Her silver eyes bore into mine. There's something wrong. I can tell._

_"Wanda? What's wrong?"_

_She shakes her head, a single tear rolling down her cheek. Fear pulses through me. Have I done something wrong? Is she unhappy?_

_"Wanda? Talk to me, please. Tell me what the matter is and I'll fix it." I soothed, brushing her hair out of her face. "You know I love you. Jamie loves you. Mel loves you. We're very happy to have you here with us."_

_"It's not that!" She hiccups, more tears spilling down her face._

_I tilt my head to the side, looking at her, confused. "Then what is it?" She shakes her head again. "Come on, you know you can tell me anything."_

_"You'll be mad," she whispers, her lips quivering._

_"Mad?" I laugh, raising an eyebrow. "How could I possibly be mad at you?"_

_"Because...because..." she struggles for the words. A sob claws its way out of her mouth. "Oh, Ian, I'm so sorry! I'm so so so sorry!"_

_I'm actually worried now. Pulling her closer to me, I stare at her, into the eyes that have the silver ring behind them that means my Wanda is right there looking back at me. "Wanderer, you need to talk to me. I'm scared."_

_"So I am," she admits, wringing her hands together nervously. "I have never experienced something like this before, and- oh!" She pulls away, covering her mouth with her hands. Leaping away, she rushes out of the room._

_I run after her, down the tunnels, following her to a dark empty corner in the North field. She is bent over, her back shaking as she retches. I watch, terrified and helpless, as she throws up her breakfast._

_When she is done, I sit next to her, pulling her into my lap. She is crying again. Turning her towards me, I beg her to speak. "What is going on with you, Wanda? Are you sick? I'll go get Doc if you're not feeling well."_

_"I've already been to see Doc. He can't help me."_

_My heart thunders, worry burrowing deeper into me with each passing minute. "Not even with your medicines?"_

_"I'm not sick, Ian."_

_My mind blanks. She looks at me expectantly, as if she expects me to figure it out. Eventually, she sighs, flapping her hands as she always does when she's frustrated. _

_"Don't you see? I'm _pregnant, _Ian! I'm going to have a baby. Well, this body is going to have a baby. I'm simply present while it carries it."_

_It was as if she had hit me with a ton of bricks. "Pr-pregnant?" I stumbled over the word, as if my mouth had never formed it._

_"Yes," she nodded, tears welling in her eyes again. "I'm so sorry, Ian. I didn't realize what was wrong with me. I'm not used to the whole period thing, and I only noticed that I had missed it when I started getting sick in the mornings."_

_"Wanda-"_

_She cut me off, rambling on. "So I went to Doc and got him to examine me, and he told me I was pregnant. He offered to tell you himself, but I said I wanted to do it." She gulped, looking afraid. "I'm sorry."_

_"What are you sorry for?" I asked, elation rising in me. "We're going to have a baby, Wanda! Our very own baby!"_

_"No, you and this body are going to have a baby. I have nothing to do with it."_

_Cupping her face in my hands, I turned her towards me. "No, Wanda. That baby is your baby too. It's just as much you as me. Don't you say that it isn't your baby too."_

_"Aren't you mad?"_

_I laughed, kissing her. "Mad? How on Earth could I be mad? I'm a little surprised, and I don't know what's going to happen, but I'm not mad! I'm so happy!"_

_We kissed, locked together in the bare dirt, Wanda crying and me laughing. I simply couldn't believe it. A baby. Out of all things, we had a baby on the way. It was a miracle; a little miracle growing inside Wanda's small stomach._

_I couldn't wait to meet him or her. _

* * *

Gasping, I fell out of the memory, eyes wide. Ian was silent in my head, waiting.

"Ian..." I stammered, feeling cold and numb. "Ian...I had no idea. When...when was the baby due?"

_Last month, _he answered grimly, his tone rough. _She was due to go into labor last month. And I wasn't there. I don't know if Wanda's okay. I don't know if we have a boy or a girl. Hell, I don't even know if they're alive! _

His voice broke then, a sob hitching in his voice. Sympathy of the purest form rushed through me. "Oh, Ian. I'm so sorry, I really am." I had no idea how to make this better, how to fix it for him. His child was somewhere in this world, fatherless and alone.

It was all my fault.

An idea came to me then. "Ian..."

_Yes? _

"How long would it take to get to the caves?"

He was silent, dumbstruck. _There's no way you're thinking about- _

"Oh, I'm thinking about it." Standing up, I neatly tidied my work place, setting my ruined canvas down on the desk.

Hope and disbelief fought through him, washing out into me. _Running Water, I don't know about this. How do I know I can trust you? And what about that Seeker bitch? What if she follows us? _

"She won't," I lied, hoping he didn't hear the falter in my voice. "And you would know if I was planning to play you. You share my head with me. You know my thoughts as I know yours."

_True. Well...okay. Okay. But you're going to need some stuff. You can't just up and walk out there without anything on you. _

"I realize that," I answered sarcastically, having learned the tone from him. "I am guessing we will need a car?"

_Yes we will. Running Water...? _

"Yes, Ian?"

_Thank you. I mean it. You're probably the best soul I know. Next to Wanda that is, _he stumbled over his thank you awkwardly, not wanting to show too much emotion. Typical Ian.

I grinned to myself. "Glad you finally realize it. I hope you realize the sacrifice I'm making here."

_Yeah, yeah. I'm sure the gallery will cry over your loss everyday, _he retorted smartly, but on the inside I knew he was grateful. With one last look at my living quarters, I walked to the door, closing it firmly behind me.

I didn't know what lay ahead of me, or what would happen along the way, but I was confident that this was the right thing. I had to let Ian see his baby. It was the least I could do to make up for messing up his life so greatly.

As we made our way down the street, little did I know that the Seeker was watching me depart from her window.

Little did I know that she slipped on her shoes, silently exiting her apartment. She had been suspecting me to be suspicious for the past months, and this behavior struck something in her.

She was going to follow us, and she was not going to be seen.

I was unknowingly leading her to Ian's family.


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter Five **

_Stop here, _Ian said, indicating the small motel my eyes had landed on. I guided the small silver car into the nearly empty parking lot, grabbing my green back pack out of the backseat. We had been driving for two days, and I still had no idea if we were any closer to Wanda. Ian was very stubborn about letting me know exactly where they were. The only directions I got from him were the small, clipped ones he gave to me when we were driving, such as where to make a turn or which city I should be passing through.

We had just crossed over into Arizona a few hours earlier, and Ian and I were both tired with the long day of driving. Walking into the lobby, I squinted at the light. A female soul sat at the white counter, smiling at me as I walked in.

"Hello," she greeted pleasantly, her voice thick with an accent. _Southern accent, _Ian informed me.

"Hello," I returned, offering her a small smile. "Do you have any vacancies? I'm rather tired, and I'd like to spend the night."

"Of course," the receptionist replied, pulling up a file on the old computer. "Just one night?"

"Yes, that's right." I rubbed my arms, checking the door over my shoulder. I couldn't explain why, but I felt anxious. Really anxious. Almost as if I was being watched. Ian scoffed, but I could tell he was now on edge too.

The soul typed rapidly, then reached into her desk, pulling out a small silver key. "Here you are. Your room's just outside the door. Number seven."

I thanked her, wishing her a goodnight. As soon as the door closed behind me, I bolted, running for the green door labelled with the thick metal 2 as fast as I could. Yanking the door open, I stumbled inside, quickly shutting it behind me.

_What are you so jumpy for? This town's a dive. Nobody's going to bother you here. _

"I am not so sure of that," I whispered back, locking the door and sliding the deadbolt closed. Souls never locked their doors, as there was no need to. Nobody stole or vandalized. Those were human ways. We did not believe in any of those actions.

I locked the door because I didn't want any unexpected visitors.

Ian sucked in a shocked breath. _You really think that bitch could have followed us? _

**_Yes, I really do. I would not put it past her to trail us. Seekers are nosy, and she is exceptionally so. _**

_And you wonder why I don't like your kind. _

Ignoring Ian's jab, I flicked the lights off, placing my bag beside the bed. If there was time, and if the Seeker hadn't shown up, I would shower in the morning. Laying my head down, I closed my eyes. It was no use.

I was too wound up to sleep.

Rolling onto my back, I looked up at the ceiling. I thought about all the people Ian had shown me memories of. All the people he loved and cared about. Jamie and Mel, Jared with his strong body and quick decisions, Kyle with his stubborn personality. Wanda, beautiful, loving Wanda. The baby he did not know.

I felt like a terrible, terrible being for tearing him away from that.

_Hey, Running Water, don't beat yourself up about it. You're taking us back there. That's more than I could ask for._

**_Yes, but what happens when you go back? They will see you as a parasite, a worm. You won't be Ian to them. You'll be...me._ **

Ian was silent, thinking. _No, I don't think so. Once they found out Wanda was okay, and that Mel was still kicking, they accepted it. There's more than one soul living in the cave. Wanda and Sunny. They're both part of the family. You'll be no different. _

**_But it still won't be the same. You will be home, but you won't have your body back. It isn't fair, and I am sorry for that, Ian O'shea._ **

Rolling over, I forced the wall down, blocking him from my thoughts. I needed sleep, and all this guilt was only making it harder to drift off. I had the feeling that we were close to our destination, and Ian's growing excitement couldn't be hidden.

I didn't think I was ready to face the humans. I was scared, and I was anxious. They would see me as a thief - having being placed inside Ian's head and robbing him of his body.

All I wanted was to be accepted. I knew how unlikely that would be, and the thought made me upset.

As I drifted off, I didn't notice the black car pull into the parking lot, the tall woman stepping out of the car. Her eyes swept over the motel rooms, a frown puckering her face. She looked at the dark lobby, deciding that the receptionist had gone off to sleep.

If her targets were here, they weren't in this motel.

Seeker Strong would have to just keep looking. She wasn't about to let Running Water and his pet return home, oh no. She was going to let them lead her there, and then she was going to kill them all.

Starting with that retched, filthy Wanderer.


	6. Chapter 6

**Chapter Six **

"We have to do _what_?"

Ian sighed as I continued driving. I squinted up at the rising sun, which was blazing hotter with each passing minute. We were somewhere in the middle of the desert, having just pulled out of Tuscon.

_We have to go walk, Running Water. If your intuition is right, then we can't take any chances about being followed. _

"I'm not sure I can make it that far, Ian! It's the desert, and I'm not physically adapt for long walks and-"

_Trust me. I know where I'm going. From here it'll take you no more than three days to walk there. _

"Three days?" I exclaimed, slamming on the breaks. Thankfully there was nobody driving behind me. "Ian, are you out of your mind? We won't last three days out there on our own, and you know it. We barely have enough water, and nowhere near enough food. This is a suicide mission!"

_Well, I guess you'd better start walking. It sure gets hot out here when the sun gets up. _

Groaning, I opened the car door, sliding out onto the caked dirt. I placed the car keys in my pocket, shrugging my backpack over my shoulder. "Which way?" I asked, looking out at the endless span of red dirt.

_Head out straight that way. You're gonna be walking for a bit before you see anything. _I nodded, stepping off the shoulder and into the ditch. In a few seconds I had stepped onto the desert ground.

There was no turning back now.

* * *

**Kyle POV**

The jeep bumped along the ground, rattling the people inside it. Jared sat in the driver's seat, his sunglasses pulled low over his eyes. Beside him, the red haired soul Nate had dragged in, Burns, sat beside him, his eyes locked on the desert in front of us.

I groaned, laying my head back against the seat. Ever since Nate and his crew had showed up, we'd needed to go on twice the amount of raids. Jeb had discovered a new corridor in the far western edge of the caves, and it had been excavated into new staying rooms. Our family of thirty-seven had become fifty-nine. Things were a little more crowded, but it gave everyone hope. Hope that maybe we could win back the planet after all.

"Kyle?" Mel, her eyes barely open, turned to look at me. Her gun was limp in her lap, the butt of it resting against mine.

"Yeah?"

"Do you...do you ever think about him sometimes?" Her voice was barely more than a whisper, but we all heard it. Burns let out a sigh, looking out the window. Jared's shoulders tightened, but he didn't comment. We all knew who she was talking about.

I swallowed, suddenly more awake. "I think about him all the time, Mel. Not a day goes past where I don't think about him. I wonder...I wonder if he'd still be here if maybe I had acted differently."

She made a small noise. "No, no don't think like that. There was nothing you could do. It was his own choice."

"He sacrificed himself for her! He let himself die for love!" I yelled, banging my fist off the door. Jared swore, the sound jolting him wide awake. The jeep swerved, but bounced back into place.

Mel looked at me with narrowed eyes. "So you're saying his sacrifice was pointless, huh? You're saying you wouldn't do the same?"

"Of course I would! It's just...oh, never mind! You don't understand," I shook my head, gritting my teeth. "It's hard, Melanie. Knowing your kid brother is out there somewhere, a prisoner in his own skull, and knowing you can't save him? Maybe if it were Jamie instead of Ian you'd know how I felt."

Mel sucked in a breath, Jared glaring at me in the mirror. His eyes were livid beneath his glasses, but I didn't care. Burns turned in his seat, looking at me with a sad expression. "I am sorry, Kyle. I wish that we could find your brother. I feel responsible somehow..." he shook his head, his hair like fire in the dark jeep.

"It isn't your fault, Burns. It's mine." I snapped, resting my head against the window.

The rest of the ride to the highway was silent. Jared pulled onto the road, aiming towards Tuscon.

Mel lowered her sunglasses, squinting. "Wait, hold on a minute. Jared, turn the jeep around."

"Mel, are you nuts? We're on a tight schedule here. We don't-"

"Turn the jeep around."

Grumbling, he complied, swinging the jeep around in a tight circle. The nose was pointing at a small silver car, half parked in the ditch, half on the road. Nothing out of the ordinary.

"It's a car," I barked, annoyed. "Nothing special. Let's get moving."

Jared removed his sunglasses, pulling his gun out of the console. "Hold up a minute. Mel," he gestured outside, sliding out of the car. They got out, walking around the side. Burns watched them, his head tipped to the side.

Removing the safety on my gun, I swore, sliding out. _Goddamn Jared and his horrible ideas._

"Holy crap," Jared mumbled, backing away from the car. Mel, her hands pressed to her mouth, turned away. I stalked forward, gun aimed at the car. I had a bad feeling about this.

"K-kyle?" Jared asked in a tense voice, turning to look at me. "You might want to see this."

I stepped towards him, noticing the piece of paper he held in his hand. He handed it to me, his honey brown eyes dark. I knew the look. He was anxious. Jared was never anxious...

Ripping it open, I scanned the paper. The knot in my stomach grew. Shaking, I dropped the paper. "How?" I demanded, turning to look at them. "How is this possible?"

Mel looked at me, her hands trembling. "It's very possible, Kyle. Don't you remember what happened with me?"

"Not everyone is you, Mel! How do we know this isn't some Seeker? Pretending to be my brother so we'll go searching for it and walk right into a trap?"

"You know Ian's writing just as well as I do. This isn't some imitation," Jared said, his voice rising in anger.

"They could have convinced him to do it. The parasite in him. Used his hands to set a trap."

Jared shook his head slowly. "I can't believe you."

"I can't believe you! Willing to believe this isn't possible when it very well could be. Ian's very strong. He could be just as present as I was!" Mel yelled, walking towards me.

I stared her down, unfazed. "Say it is my brother in there. He can find his own way back. This car hasn't been touched in days. He'd be awfully close by now, wouldn't he?"

Jared look back the way we had come, where the sun was rising over the crest of the nearest ridge. "I don't know, Kyle. Maybe we should go back and look for him."

"And waste this raid?" I laughed, climbing back in the jeep. "No, I don't think so. If that really is my brother and his new parasite, they can find their own way back."

* * *

**Ok sooo Kyle knows Ian is alive, or refuses to believe. Thanks for reviewing everyone! I appreciate it.**


	7. Chapter 7

**Chapter Seven **

***back to Running Water/Ian's POV* **

When I woke up, everything was stiff. My back ached, but it was nothing compared to my feet. This body was used to walking long distances, but it had been a little rusty ever since I became one with it. Ian was quiet, and I reveled in the momentary silence as I picked myself up off the desert ground. My back pack, which I had attempted to use as a pillow, was lumpy and dusty, heavy on my back.

Squinting into the morning light, I tried to recognize something. Anything. Ian had told me we were looking for a ridge, and that we were very close. My heart thumped as I swiveled, trying to find the landmark.

Nothing.

"Ian," I said hoarsely, ignoring my dry throat. "Ian, I don't know where I'm going."

For a few moments, there was no response. Then Ian appeared, cussing quietly. _Damnit, Running Water. What do you want? _

I swirled again, showing him the vast empty desert. "I don't see any ridges. Are you sure this is the right way? I was sure that I could see something on the horizon last night."

_I know this is the right way... _he trailed, but he didn't sound confident. _Sit tight for a minute. Let me think. _

I did just that, settling back onto the hard packed ground. Reaching in the bag, I fumbled, feeling for a bottle. Finding it, I pulled it out, taking a long draw on the water. It was rusty, but it was good, and it soothed the scratching in my throat.

_Alright, I know where we are. We're about two miles out. If we start now we can make it before supper. _Ian advised, my eyes trailing to the right.

"Which way again?"

_West, cowboy, head west. _

And so we did, me lugging the bag over my shoulder, Ian chattering in my mind. His personality had perked in the last few days despite us having trekked what felt like endless miles through the hot, dry desert. I knew it was entirely because of the fact we were headed back towards Wanda, and the child he didn't know.

I only hoped they would accept us both when we arrived.

* * *

As Ian had predicted, we were within range of the caves by supper. The sun had started to lower, the slowly declining temperature a kiss on my charred skin. Ian was buzzing, nervousness and anxiousness from him coursing through my body.

_Wait there, _he instructed, my eyes falling on the rock he indicated. _There's tire tracks headed out, but not the returning set. A raid will be back in when night falls. _

I settled down, leaning against the scorching rock. The shirt on my back provided little resistance, the sweat caked on my forehead making me even more uncomfortable. I couldn't wait for this to all be over, whether they accepted me or not.

I figured if they were going to shank us, at least we'd get a bath before they did so.

As Ian had predicted, as soon as the sun began to sink behind the ridge, a vehicle appeared. It was a jeep, and the sight of it made Ian immensely happy. He wanted to jump up and down, scream even, but I reined him in, keeping my control.

_**No!** _I scolded, holding him back. _**Don't you get what will happen if they see us? **_

_Yeah, they'll be happy to see me! _

With a sudden, violent push, Ian pushed against me. I felt him flood through my body, and suddenly it wasn't him who was sitting numbly while someone else took control.

It was me.

"Hey! Hey, over here!" Ian yelled, jumping and waving his arms, a grin plastered on his tanned face. The jeep had noticed us all right. It had swerved off it's course and was racing towards us at a high speed. "It's me! It's me, Ian!"

With a growl, I shoved against him, ripping him from his limbs and tossing him back in the far corners of my mind. **_No, _**I growled, furious with him. _**No, Ian. That was a bad idea.**_

The jeep screeched to a stop in front of us, the back door swinging open. A man toppled out, his sunglasses pushed back into his black hair. Ian surged at the sight of him, but didn't manage to gain control again.

"Kyle," I croaked, smiling at him.

Kyle didn't return the smile. Another tall, tanned boy slid out behind him, a rifle held loosely in his hand. Jared. "I don't believe it..." Jared muttered, removing his glasses. "It was you."

"What was me?" I asked, confused.

"The note," this voice was female, and it belonged to Mel. I smiled at her, and she returned it. "Good to see you, Ian."

_Good to see you too, Mel, _Ian said gruffly. "Ian says it's good to see you too," I said happily, glad that Ian's family was taking our arrival so well.

Jared's face froze, his expression hardening. "What do you mean Ian says?"

Alarm coursed through me. Ian was dead silent. Kyle paced forward, scowling. His hand latched out, catching my arm. I winced, trying to pull away, then deciding better of it. I needed to appear friendly. Willing to cooperate.

He squinted, tilting my chin up into the dying light. "Parasite," he mumbled, dropping my arm like I was poisonous. "It's a parasite."

"Kyle..." Jared asked in a measured voice, looking strained. Melanie was shaking her head furiously, shooting daggers at Ian's brother. I could see another person in the jeep, but he remained there, watching us through the tinted window.

"Do it, Jared," Kyle growled, gritting his teeth. "Do it now."

"Kyle, that isn't necessary. You know that Doc can do the procedure-"

"I don't care about the procedure, Jared. What if he isn't in there? I'm not gonna let some leech walk around using my brother as a meat suit. If you won't do it, I will."

Kyle lurched forward, grasping the rifle. Jared didn't resist, letting him take it. Mel was screaming at Kyle, calling him a monster.

My heart sped up as I backed away. "What's...what are you doing? Kyle?"

"Don't you talk to me! Don't you pretend!" Kyle yelled, raising the gun so it pointed at my chest.

Ian was freaking, hollering at me to say something, to do something. I raised my hands, backing away from Kyle and his gun. "Kyle, stop it. Don't do this. Your brother is in here with me. Killing me is killing him."

Kyle laughed, but it was the sound of a crazed person. "Oh, I'm sure he is. Tell me, how does it feel? How does it feel to rip away an innocent boy's life just so you could exist?"

"I didn't rip away anyone's life! Ian is still alive! He is present in my mind! Just like his Wanda was inside Mel," my eyes darted to Mel desperately, hoping she'd back me up. She had her face pressed into Jared's chest, his arms encircling her protectively. Neither of them were looking at us, but I knew they were waiting.

I didn't know if it offended me or honored me that they wouldn't watch.

Wouldn't watch Ian's own brother blow his life away.

Kyle shook his head slowly. "I can't believe you. Your kind lies just so they can survive. It's pathetic." I heard the click as he removed the safety from the gun, my heart racing faster.

Ian, who had been screaming his best with no avail, let out a sigh. I closed my eyes. _**I am sorry, Ian. **_

_It's okay. Kyle always did have a hard head, _he replied weakly, but there was no life to his voice. We both knew we were doomed.

I watched with dead eyes as Kyle's finger toyed the trigger. Heard the gun fire.

But strangely there was no pain...

I wondered if I were dead.

Opening my eyes a crack, I looked around. Mel was peeping out from under Jared's arm, her eyes wide. Jared looked equally as shocked. Kyle was sprawled on the desert floor, moaning, clutching at his face as he rocked back and forth.

A small girl stood over him, clenching the rifle in her hands. She waved the butt of it threateningly again, as if she were going to strike him once more. "You blundering _idiot, _Kyle O'shea. Sometimes I wonder how someone so smart could possibly be so bull headed at times!" She tsked, tossing the rifle onto the ground towards Jared's feat.

I watched her, not believing my eyes. Ian was stunned silent, his eyes drinking in her sight like he was a drowning man that had just been given air. Both of us were consumed with a whirlwind of emotions and intense feelings.

"Wanda," we gulped at the same time.

She smiled, resting her hands on her hips. "It's about time you got home,"


	8. Chapter 8

**Chapter Eight **

When I came around, I was inside the caves. Ian stirred weakly, trying to pinpoint where we were. I was utterly lost.

There was the sound of someone knocking, causing me to jump. It was poorly lit wherever I was, and stale. _A holding cell, maybe? _Ian guessed, but I knew he wasn't sure.

A tall, slim man appeared, smiling cautiously at me. "Hello," he greeted in a calm voice, walking gently, as if I might attack. Ian felt a rush of joy at the sight of the man, clambering frantically against my hold. He wanted control of his body back very badly. _It's Doc! _He yelled gleefully, as if I should recognize the man. I dimly remembered him from some of Ian's memories, but not enough.

"Hi," I returned, rubbing my arm.

Doc walked closer, extending a hand towards me. "I'm Doc. Well, at least that's what they call me around here. I'm guessing Ian told you that."

I nodded, shyly taking his hand. He shook it firmly, then released me. "Can I ask your name?"

"Running Water," I said quietly, my heart pounding. "I'm Running Water."

_Don't be scared of him, he's a good guy! _Ian scolded, but his words didn't calm me. Doc smiled, leaning against the wall opposite of me. He clearly understood how uncomfortable I felt, especially after Kyle's strange outrage the other day.

"It's nice to meet you Running Water. Where do you come from?"

I told him, still nervously rubbing my arms. He seemed very friendly. I could see why the pod of people who inhabited the caves trusted him.

When I had finished speaking, he spoke. "You've come quite a ways. I assume you're probably hungry and thirsty. Come on, then. It's rude to keep your guests waiting."

I followed him out of the cave, twisting around corners and avoiding the bumps. My body knew where to put my feet, and despite our fast pace, I didn't trip once. _You're welcome, _Ian grumbled, but there was a good nature to his voice. He was very happy to be back in his caves with his family, and I was happy that he was happy.

Living with him when he was grumpy was downright unbearable.

* * *

The mess hall was dead silent when I arrived. Ian noted that it had been expanded since he was captured, and was now big enough to accommodate all the new arrivals. Nate's clan.

An older man stood from one of the benches, hobbling towards us as fast as he could. Jeb. He grasped me, pulling me in for a tight hug. "It's good to have you home, boy," he whispered gruffly, patting my back. I felt awkward, shuffling my feet as he pulled away. I was aware of everyone staring, noticing the glint of silver behind the dark eyes that they trusted. The silver that indicated me.

"It's nice to meet you too. I thank you for bringing Ian back."

I nodded, offering him a strained smile. "It was the least I could do. I knew I had taken him from his family, so I knew the only right thing to do was bring him home."

There was a few whispers of unease, but nobody objected to me arriving. Jeb sat me down at a table with Jared and Mel's kid brother, Jamie. He was excited to see me, throwing a slew of questions at me as I ate. Wanda wasn't in the room, and neither was Kyle.

When I had finished, Jamie tugged on my hand. "C'mon, Running Water. There's someone you need to meet."

I allowed him to lead me from the hall, Jared taking up the rear. Ian took in all the new faces that filled up the room. They watched me with a curious air. I recognized the red-headed man who sat beside the leader. He had been the other one in the jeep last night.

Noticing my confusion, Jamie spoke. "That's Burns. He's like you and Wanda and Sunny. He went native."

"Native?" The word felt strange on my tongue.

"Yeah. It means you choose to stay with us instead of the others, you know? Like, it means you're a good soul."

I smiled down at him. Ian had been affectionate of the boy, seeing him as everyone else in the colony did. A younger brother. Someone to care for. Protect. I understood that every human born into the cell was especially cherished among the cell. They were free, and would live their lives free.

We came to another wing, this one busier than the others. People walked back and forth, exiting and entering caves -or rooms, as Ian suggested- in every which way. I walked to the familiar door by myself, remembering how it looked from Ian's memories.

Hesitating, I looked back at Jared and Jamie. Jamie nodded enthusiastically, Jared smiling. "Go on," he insisted, nodding to the door.

Pushing it open, I stepped inside. The room was as I remembered, the double-sized bed pushed into the far corner away from the door. The small wooden nightstand Ian had worked on for months was beside it. He remembered giving it to Wanda when it was completed and her joy of having a new piece of furniture, as simple as it was. Wanda loved all new things, no matter how small and insignificant they were.

It was one of the things Ian loved about her.

"Hello," the soft voice came from the opposite side of the room. Ian was struck silent, his emotions swelling. I felt his heart -_my heart_- race wildly. Wanda, clasping her hands in front of her, walked towards me.

"Wanda," I breathed in a husky voice. "Wanda, I'm so sorry, I-"

"Ssh," she hushed, taking my hand in hers. "It's alright. It isn't your fault, Running Water. I'm just very happy to have Ian back." She paused, smiling widely. God, she was beautiful. On the inside and out, as Ian always proclaimed. As if forgetting, she grinned. "And hello to you too, Ian."

I felt Ian surge at the sound of his name. Without warning, he coursed through me, regaining control of his body. He swooped down, pulling Wanda into him. In seconds, he was kissing her.

When I finally managed to pull him back and re gain control, I was panting. Wanda let out a small noise of surprise as she leaned back, pressing her hands into her back. "Well, that was unexpected."

"I-I I'm s-sorry. Ian just...he just...came out of nowhere! Forgive me if you can."

She laughed, taking my large hand in her small one. "It's fine," she pressed it to her tiny mouth, kissing my knuckles. "Come with me. There's someone who's been waiting to meet you."

_Oh my god, _Ian gasped, panicking. _Oh my god, Running Water. Is that...is that...it's a crib. Oh god. Oh god. _Ian began to stammer, his sudden flood of emotions coursing over me. I could feel my pulse, hear it thundering in my ears. As Ian had spotted, there was indeed a crib in the corner, made out of wood and beautifully carved.

I wondered how long it had taken them to build it.

"It was a present from Melanie and Jeb," Wanda explained, her voice suddenly quieter. "With you gone..." she cleared her throat, the topic hard for her to speak about. I squeezed her fingers gently. "It was hard for me. They surprised me with the crib one day. It's quite beautiful, isn't it?"

I nodded, allowing her to pull me closer. She looked up into my eyes. "Running Water?"

"Yes, Wanda?"

"I know that you're in Ian's body now, and I know how hard it is, but would you...could you let him come out? Please?" I understood what she wanted. She wanted this to be Ian's moment. She wanted him to see his child as himself, not through me and my eyes.

"Of course," I said quickly, knowing Ian had already heard and was straining against the walls I had thrown up. Closing my eyes, I concentrated, trying to feel for something...somehow...

Ian broke through, opening his eyes widely. I forced myself to stay small in the back of his head as he crossed the remaining feet to the crib with Wanda. He was breathing heavily, his eyes misted. I knew how much this meant to him.

Smiling, Wanda dropped his hand, bending over on her tiptoes to reach into the crib. I watched, curious. I wanted to see the baby too.

"Ian...meet Chase. Chase Walter O'Shea."

Ian nearly collapsed, his hand shaking as he held onto the side of the crib. His eyes drank in every inch of the small child Wanda held gently yet protectively in her arms. "I hope you don't mind the name. I named him myself. I thought it sounded nice." She said cautiously, looking down at her son.

Ian smiled broadly at her. "It sounds perfect."

The baby _was_ perfect. He had a mess of dark hair, his small eyes a pale blue. Wanda handed him to Ian wordlessly, watching him with a cautious expression. Ian held his son in his arms, his tears threatening to spill over.

Which they did.

He cried as he held his little boy, talking to him, murmuring pointless, little things. Enjoying the feel of holding him in his arms. Enjoying everything he couldn't before we had arrived.

"Wanda...Wanda thank you," Ian murmured, not wanting to scare Chase. I felt a rush of joy for my host and his partner, but already his strength was starting to sap. "Thank you for everything. I love you."

She had to stand on her tiptoes and Ian had to bend down to kiss her, but kissed they did. When they were done, Ian handed Chase back to his mother. He faded, letting me flow back through our body.

"Your son is very beautiful, Wanderer," I said, smiling down at the child.

Wanda grinned. "Thank you, Running Water."

We stayed a while longer, Ian babbling on and on about how perfect his son was. I grinned as he chattered, Wanda filling us in on everything we had missed during our absence.

It felt like we were a family, and it made me sad to think I would never be part of one.

I vowed then that somehow I would find a way to exit Ian's body, whatever it took. He deserved his family, not confinement. Someday, I would follow through.

Someday, Chase would have a father without alien silver eyes.


	9. Chapter 9

**Chapter Nine **

The first few days back in the caves were hectic. For me, at least. I stayed in a cave across the hall from Wanda and little Chase by myself. Doc explained that it was to give me a chance to adjust, but Ian and I both knew that it was because nobody would room with us.

On my third day in Ian's caves, I finally seen Kyle again. His face had been bashed in pretty good by the butt of the rifle, tape holding his nose in a semi straight line. Black shadows boxed in his eyes, which were constantly narrowed into slits whenever he came near us. I didn't understand why he hated me so much.

I brought the thought up to Wanda the next day. Holding Chase in her arms, she wandered slowly through the ruffling stalks of wheat that grew in one of the three large fields Jeb had cultivated and grown with the help of the wide mirrors that trailed along the ceiling. It was quite fascinating, seeing as I had never witnessed something like it before.

"Wanda?" I asked, rolling a head of wheat between my thumb and fore finger. She had stopped, having found a narrow rock ledge to sit on. Chase sat on her lap, his eyes wide, small hands clasped together.

"Wanda, why does Kyle hate me?" I rocked back on my heels, uncomfortable.

She sighed, her eyes full of sympathy. "He doesn't hate you, Running Water. He hates himself."

_Hates himself? What for? _Ian asked, just as confused as I was. I tilted my head to the side, drawing my eyebrows together. "What do you mean, he hates himself?"

"I mean what I said. The poor thing, he blames himself. Blames himself for you disappearing and for...for his brother."

It hurt, but I got what she was saying. Kyle blamed himself for me being placed into his brother. I hung my head, avoiding Wanda's eyes. _Hey, don't blame yourself. You had no control over it. I sacrificed myself. _

Wanda was staring at me. "I know he's talking to you. I can tell by your face. What's he saying?"

"He...he's saying that he sacrificed himself. That I shouldn't feel as guilty as I do. Wanderer, did you feel guilt when you were in Melanie's body?"

She pursed her lips, thinking. "In the end, I did. I grew to love her family and those she loved. I became attached to them, and I felt bad for keeping her from them."

I nodded. Ian had told me about the procedure that had split Wanda from Melanie. For a moment, I wondered. _**Could they do that with me and you, Ian? Could they take me out? **_

_Stop! You aren't going to sacrifice yourself so I can have my family! _

_**But I wouldn't be gone. They could put me in another body. Like Wanda.**_

Ian was reluctant. _Running Water...Running Water, I don't know if they'd want you to stay. They might ship you out in a cryotank_

Fear pulsed through me. _**No! No, I don't want to leave this planet! That Seeker - she'd have me killed. No matter where I went. She'd drag me back and try to torture information out of me, don't you see? **_

_Then you need to stay,_ Ian closed firmly. I rolled my eyes at his cocky tone. I hated when he won arguments.

Wanda, who had been watching me the entire time, smiled sadly. "I know what you're thinking, and I disagree. I don't mind you being inside Ian. It's not your fault. Please, don't feel like you need to leave."

"You want me to stay?" I asked in disbelief.

Wanda smiled. "Yes. I'm not the only one, either. People will grow to love you too, Running Water. You're one of us now."

She patted the rock next to her, and I awkwardly stood up, walking to sit next to her. Despite what she said, I found it hard to believe that people would accept me as they'd accepted her and Sunny and Burns.

I felt like an outsider.

* * *

Seeker Strong rolled to a stop beside the parked car, pulling her sunglasses off. Getting out, she curtly walked around her black, sleek car. Running her fingers along the hood, she paused.

The silver car was coated in dust, but there were foot prints all around it, and a set of tire tracks that seemingly disappeared out of nowhere. To anybody else, it would have looked completely ordinary for the soul world. A car had went off the ditch, and someone had stopped to see if they needed assistance. Nothing wrong.

But she couldn't help noticing how deliberately the car had been nosed into the ditch. As if the driver had done it on purpose. And the tire tracks had come from entirely the wrong way to be passing traffic.

It was as if someone had literally pulled out of the desert and onto the road.

Which could mean...

Reaching into her pocket, she pulled out the cell phone. Flipping it open, she punched in a number. A man picked up.

"Seeker Strong? Are you in need of aid?"

"Hello, Seeker Irons. Please, tell your men and women to correspond to my current location," she quipped in a cheerful, bubbly voice. It would be impossible to tell how pissed off she really was unless you were standing next to her. Seeker Strong was a very good actor.

"Have you found a trace, ma'am?"

"Indeed I have. Oh, and tell your men to bring guns. We are not taking live prisoners."

Seeker Irons was quiet for a moment, then he responded. "As you wish. They are on route now. I say you should be ready to go at night fall."

Seeker Strong grinned widely. "Thank you,"

Closing the phone, she trailed her fingers along the silver car. She was still smiling to herself. "Oh, little Wanderer. You'll be in for a shock very, very soon." Returning to her car, she slid into the air conditioning.

She could hardly wait to find the rebel cell of humans. The look of pain on Wanderer's face when she watched her family crumble would be too good. Seeker Strong would take her personally. Make her suffer. Make her scream.

And it would all be done when night fell.


End file.
